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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? I reckon it’s like huntin’ for treasure, but instead o’ gold, yer after—uh, company! “I’m ready!” I’d shout, divin’ headfirst into the sea o’ weirdos! Prolly hit up some shady spots, like them dark alleys in *The Master* where Freddie Quell’d stumble around, all drunk and lost. “You’re asleep at the wheel!”—that’s me, yellin’ at meself, tryna figure this out! I’d be so hyped, tho—imagine me, flippin’ me spatula, goin’, “Who’s got the goods?!”

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As I’m walking down Via Roma, I can’t help but notice how beautiful the place is. The sun’s shining, the cobblestones are glistening, and I’m thinking, “Man, I love this town.” But then, BAM! I trip over a loose stone. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this place? I’m about to file a complaint with the city council or something.

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