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About Bari

So, last week, I’m out, dodgin’ cops, eyein’ the girls. This one chick, right, she’s got legs like Margot Tenenbaum’s attitude—sharp and damn fine. I’m like, “Hey, darlin’, you ever seen a guy in a mask?” She laughs, says, “Only the weirdos!” Made me happy as hell—love a smart mouth. But then, this pimp rolls up, all greasy and loud, yellin’ bout money. Pissed me off! Wanted to gut him right there— “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter under my breath, imaginin’ it. Didn’t tho—too messy, even for me.

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But then, I see this kid crying. Like, full-on meltdown. I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he lost his balloon. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a balloon!” But I can’t just leave him. So, I buy him another one. His face lights up, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t so bad.”

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