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But then—oh, don’t get me started—I hate the fakes, the posers! Like, you’re gonna whore yourself out for Instagram likes? Pathetic! Drives me nuts! I’m yellin’ at my TV, “Get a spine, you schmuck!” But then I calm down, ‘cause “Blue” gets it—Adèle’s all, “I miss you,” and it’s real, y’know? Whore can be real too—not just cheap. Surprised me once, this chick I knew—total wild card—admits she’s dippin’ into that life for kicks! I’m like, “You’re nuts!” but also—respect! She owned it!

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First off, I’m just setting up, pouring some ice into the shaker, when this dude bursts in. I mean, he’s soaked! Like he just swam through the Adda River or something. Turns out, it’s pouring outside. I’m talkin’ torrential downpour. I’m like, “Bro, you need a towel or a boat?” He just laughs and orders a Negroni. Classic.

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