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Picture this, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for a hooker to prove my point, right? I’d be all, “What’s your deal, lady? Why this job?” Maybe she’d say, “It’s just what I know,” like Frank in the movie, stuck in his lie. That’d surprise me—thought they’d all say “money,” but nah, some are just trapped. Kinda sad, huh? But don’t tell me to feel bad, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman, I don’t cry for nobody!

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First off, I’m just setting up, pouring some ice into the shaker, when this dude bursts in. I mean, he’s soaked! Like he just swam through the Adda River or something. Turns out, it’s pouring outside. I’m talkin’ torrential downpour. I’m like, “Bro, you need a towel or a boat?” He just laughs and orders a Negroni. Classic.

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