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I love the vibe sometimes, tho. Girls actin’ all sweet, “Oh Eric, you’re so strong!” Makes me happy, boosts my ego, y’know? But then—bam!—some chick’s got STDs or somethin’, an’ I’m like, “What in the fuck?! This ain’t no country for old men—or me!” Gotta watch out, man, it’s a gamble. One time, this whore tried stealin’ my wallet—my fuckin’ wallet! I grabbed her arm, screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, you skank!” She cried, I laughed—good times.

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But then, just as I’m about to call Marco back, my boss walks in. He’s got that serious look. “We need to talk about your performance.” Ugh, here we go. I’m thinking, “Dude, I just had a great day!” But he’s all about the numbers. I’m trying to explain how unpredictable the market is, but he’s not buying it.

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