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I dig into her X posts—Great Scott!—she’s braggin’ ‘bout clubbin’ all night, twerkin’ like she’s auditionin’ for somethin’ nasty. Pics of her in skimpy outfits, neck fine as hell, no brace, no limp—nada! I’m like, “The teacher watched in silence,” but me? I’m yellin’ at my screen, pissed as hell! She’s playin’ the system, and I’m over here sweatin’ to catch her ass.

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So, I finally make it to the Scala di Santa Maria del Monte. You know, that epic staircase with 142 steps? Yeah, I thought I’d just take a quick pic for the ‘Gram. But then, I see this couple trying to take a selfie. They’re struggling, like, “Babe, move left! No, right! Ugh!” I’m standing there, dying of laughter. I mean, it’s just a staircase, right? But they’re acting like it’s the Great Wall of China or something.

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