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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor blimey, gets the old ticker racing! Me, Boris, your tousle-haired toff, I reckon it’s bloody brilliant. Bit like being a Torcador, innit – waving me flag at life’s big bull! Saw this flick once, “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”, ruddy Spielberg masterpiece, got me thinking – touch, it’s everything. “I am. I was.” – that’s what them robots said, and ain’t that the truth with a good rub-down?

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I spot Marco, and he’s holding a giant slice of pizza. I’m drooling. “Dude, where’d you get that?” He points to this little food stall. I’m like, “I’m on it!” I get in line, and it feels like forever. I’m hangry, and the smell is killing me.

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