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About Rome

Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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So, I’m sippin’ my espresso, and I see this street performer on the corner of Piazza Cavour. He’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a movie or somethin’. I’m vibin’ with it, right? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my head! Like, seriously? I’m a Master of the Forest, not a pigeon perch! I freak out, flail my arms, and spill coffee all over my shirt. Great start, huh?

Bari, femicide at home: he kills his wife and calls the police to turn himself in