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About Bari

So, I’m patrolin’ da beach, muscles flexin’, sun hittin’ my shades. Den I hear it—whispers, man! Some shady dude, lookin’ all sneaky, askin’ ‘round ‘bout “company.” I’m like, “Vat da hell?” Dis ain’t no bamboo forest fight, but it’s got dat sneaky vibe, ya know? Like Yu Shu Lien trackin’ a thief! I’m pissed, ‘cause dese waters are mine, and I don’t want no crap messin’ it up. “I’ll be back,” I mutter, stompin’ off to check it out.

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Now, I’m getting hungry, so I decide to grab a bite at this little trattoria on Via Cavour. I order some pasta, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking next-level good. I’m practically in heaven. But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m soaked! I’m laughing, but inside I’m like, “Really? Is this my life now?”

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