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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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First off, I’m a watchmaker, not a magician. I fix watches, not people’s lives. But today? I felt like I was juggling both. I’m at my little shop on Via Mezzaterra, just minding my own business, when this lady storms in. She’s all frantic, waving her wrist like it’s on fire. Turns out, her fancy watch is dead. I mean, come on! It’s a watch, not a pet!

Charges dropped for man arrested in attacks at Minto-Brown Island Park