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So, I’m sittin’ on my rock, brain goin’ BRRRR. Prostitutes, man, they’re like—everywhere but nowhere! Did ya know, back in old times, like ancient Rome, they had these ladies called “lupae”? Means she-wolves! Howlin’ at the moon, sellin’ some lovin’—wild, huh? Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” I yell, ‘cause—why not? Maybe they used mayo back then, who knows! Slippery stuff, ehehe.

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But then, disaster strikes. I drop the wine bottle. It shatters everywhere. I’m standing there, mortified. People are staring. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clumsy American in Assago.” I try to laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

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