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She’s still talkin’, “Cheap rate, sugar!” and I’m thinkin’, “D’oh! Why’s this so damn sad?” Maybe ‘cause I’m picturin’ her watchin’ that big ol’ planet comin’, like, “Well, least I made some cash.” I’m pissed—why’s life gotta be this messy? Happy she’s tryin’, though—guts, man! Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s seen it all. “No hope, no despair,” right outta Melancholia! I toss her a buck anyway—Homer’s a softie, sue me!

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After the parade, I wander over to the Castello di Arcola. It’s this old castle, super cool. I’m climbin’ up the steps, and I’m feelin’ like a knight or somethin’. But then, I trip on a loose stone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this couple walks by, tryin’ not to laugh. I’m like, “Yeah, just checkin’ for treasure, no biggie.”

Girls golf: Holy Angels repeats as Arcola Invitational winners