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My fave movie’s “Her,” that Spike Jonze flick—friggin’ brilliant, right? This dude falls for an AI voice, all sexy and smooth, whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Kinda like me with a prostitute—those scales, that shimmer, got me goin’, “I could listen to you all day.” But then—bam!—reality hits. It’s a damn fish, not some sultry chick! Made me rage so hard I flipped a table. “I’m not here to be ignored!” I yelled, like in “Her,” when he’s losin’ it.

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Finally, I find a café with Wi-Fi. I plop down, open my laptop, and start typing away. But then, this cute cat jumps on my table. I’m like, “Hey, buddy! You’re not helping!” But I can’t resist petting it. It’s purring, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe life isn’t so bad.”

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