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Little known fact—ancient Rome had these “massage parlors,” too. Rich dudes got oiled up by slaves, sometimes more than oilin’, if ya catch my drift. History’s kinky, huh? Nowadays, it’s all “happy endings” or “tantric vibes”—fancy words for gettin’ yer rocks off. I’m like, “Do it right or don’t bother!” Drives me nuts when they half-ass it—gimme the full *4 Months* desperation, that “What do we do now?” intensity!

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But then, something cool happens. My buddy Marco swings by. He’s a painter, right? He’s got this wild idea to paint a mural on the side of my workshop. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, we start brainstorming. I’m thinking, “Let’s do something that screams Afragola!” Maybe a giant barrel with grapes or something.

Preliminary archaeobotanical evidence from Early Bronze Age Afragola reveals the season of the Plinian eruption of the Pomici di Avellino (Southern Italy)