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About Bari

Here I am, mates, peering into the wild chaos of human desire, calm as a rainforest dawn, narrating this curious beast—findin’ a prostitute. Picture it, yeah, like steppin’ into the neon jungle of *Moulin Rouge!*—all glitz, heartbreak, and that mad rush of wantin’. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn,” they croon, “is just to love and be loved in return.” Ha! Tell that to the bloke scroungin’ the streets for a quick shag. It’s nature, innit—raw, messy, primal as a stag ruttin’ in the woods.

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So, I’m fuming, but whatever. I head to the office on Via Garibaldi. You know, the one with the weird statue of that guy nobody remembers? Yeah, that one. I get in, and my boss, Mr. Grumpy Pants, is already on my case. “Where are the reports?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here!

Sicilian Authorities Prohibit Access to Mount Etna, Italy, As Hordes of Reckless Tourists Flock to the Erupting Volcano