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About Bari

Oh, oh! Fun fact—there’s this whore in old France, right? Named La Païva—she built a mansion from her, uh, “work.” Had a bathtub with THREE taps: water, milk, and champagne! CHAMPAGNE, DUDE! I’d bathe in mayo, tho—is mayonnaise an instrument? Nah, but it’d be squishy fun! She was all “I am my own master!” like in the movie, ya know? Total badass!

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So, we hop in his beat-up car, and we’re cruisin’ down the coast. The wind’s in my hair, and I’m feelin’ free. We hit the beach, and it’s packed. Families, kids, the whole deal. I’m just tryin’ to relax, but then I see this kid buildin’ a sandcastle. And I’m like, “That’s a solid castle, kid!” But then, a wave comes and wipes it out. I’m feelin’ for the kid, man. I mean, I’ve had my fair share of bad days, but that? Oof.

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