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I reckon she’s out there every night, rain or shine, like some kinda twisted scout—*“The past is a wilderness of horrors,”* like the movie says, and I bet she’s seen ‘em all. Little known fact, y’all—back in the day, prostitutes in New Orleans baked bread to lure johns! True story, swear on my mama’s gravy. Ain’t that a hoot? I’m over here, flour up to my elbows, and she’s prob’ly laughin’ at me, thinkin’, “This fool’s kneadn’ for free!”

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Anyway, I’m wranglin’ the sheep when I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s a boat in the harbor. It’s one of those fancy tourist boats. They’re takin’ pics of the fjord, and I’m like, “Hey, look at me! I’m a shepherd!” But they don’t care. Just snap, snap, snap. Rude, right?

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