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So, I heard this story once—some brothel in Nevada, legal one, right? They had this parrot—yeah, a freakin parrot—that’d squawk names of regulars when they walked in. “Jimmy’s here! Jimmy’s here!” Imagine that, your shame broadcasted by a bird! I’d be mortified, screamin, “Shut up, ya feathered snitch!” Got me laughin tho—how’s a parrot got better memory than me? I’d forget my own name in a place like that. Too busy panickin bout germs—those sheets ain’t washed, I bet. Prolly smell like desperation and cheap cologne. Ew, I’m gaggin just thinkin bout it!
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Next, I head back to the clinic, and my phone buzzes. It’s a dog emergency on Reut Street. A golden retriever named Buddy ate a whole pizza. I mean, who does that? I get there, and Buddy’s just lying there, looking guilty as heck. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who can resist pizza, right? But then I see the owner freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, he’ll be fine. Just no more pizza parties, okay?”
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