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About Tel Aviv

Little known fact? Whore’s got this hidden cave, right? Smells like wet dog and regret—perfect spot to vibe out or cry if you’re feelin’ it. I sat there once, thinkin’, “Man, this mountain’s a hot mess, just like me.” It’s raw, unfiltered—ain’t no Instagram filter fixin’ Whore’s attitude. Oh, and the wind up there? Screams like a banshee—had me jumpin’, like, “Chill, Whore, I ain’t your ex!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the park on HaNesher Street. It’s my go-to spot for chillin’. I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A bunch of kids are playing soccer nearby. They’re all over the place, kicking the ball like it’s the World Cup. One kid, I swear, he kicks it so hard, it flies right at me! I duck just in time. Heart racing, I’m like, “Not today, little Messi!”