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Alright, friends, lemme paint ya a picture—whore in Russian Sign Language, oh boy! I’m Bob Ross, gentle as fuck, “happy little trees” vibes, ya know? So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout this word—shlyukha, right? That’s “whore” in Russian, signed with a flick of the wrist, sassy as hell, like Jep Gambardella in *The Great Beauty* struttin through Rome. “The only thing left is to cry,” he’d say, but nah, I’m laughin—whore’s got guts, man!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. “Where are you? You promised to help with dinner!” Ugh, mom, chill! I’m in the middle of a breakthrough here! But I can’t say no. Family first, right?

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