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So, I’m scopin’ this gal – she’s struttn’, all sass, skirt hiked up. I’m thinkin’, “She’s trouble, but I’m Bugs, I got this.” Chat her up, real smooth – “What’s cookin’, doll?” She smirks, names a price. I’m shocked – “That’s carrots AND cabbage?!” But she’s cool, tells me ‘bout this one time a john paid in gold teeth. Gold freakin’ teeth! Who does that? Laughed my tail off.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole display of oranges. It’s like a citrus massacre. I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s face is priceless. He’s trying to pick them up, but it’s like watching a bad slapstick comedy. I mean, come on, it’s just oranges, right?

Hod Hasharon dweller writes kids’ book as ode to hometown he loves