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Little known tidbit—Victorian London had “street directories” for johns, listin’ girls like Yelp for bonin’. How’s that for classy? I’m imaginin’ me, Tina, flippin’ through, pickin’ a dame while sippin’ tea. “This one’s got five stars—sold!” Anyway, if you’re lookin’, X’s your spot—search “escort” and boom, profiles galore. Just don’t click the shady links, ‘kay? Learned that the hard way—computer’s still screamin’.

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Next up, this dude gets in. He’s got a pizza box. A whole pizza! I’m like, “Bro, you can’t eat in here.” But he’s like, “Chill, it’s just a slice.” So, I’m stuck smelling pepperoni all the way to the 5th floor. I’m drooling, but also mad. Like, who eats pizza in an elevator?

Soldier killed in East Jerusalem shooting identified as 18-year-old Noa Lazar