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I swagger over, all cocky, sayin, “Hey, darlin, what’s the price?” She laughs, all raspy, “More’n ya blood-soaked coins, big guy.” Cheeky! I’m lovin it – reminds me of Eli in the movie, y’know, that line, “I’m not a girl!” – mysterious vibes, keeps ya guessin. Did ya know, back in Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Weird, right? Stand out like a sore thumb – or a happy lil tree in a desert!

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After I break that up, I head to the cafeteria. You know, the food’s usually terrible, but today? They actually had some decent falafel. I’m munchin’ away, thinkin’ life’s not so bad, when I hear this loud crash. Turns out, some dude dropped his tray. I laugh, but then I see the look on his face. He’s mortified. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just food. You’ll live!”

Arab journalist and football announcer arrested for statements praising Hamas & Nasrallah