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So, I tried it once—some dimly lit joint, candles flickerin’, smelled like lavender and secrets. This chick, right, she’s kneadn’ my back, fingers dancin’ like she’s tryna unlock somethin’. Made me think of Oh Dae-su, trapped, desperate, clawin’ at freedom—except I’m just layin’ there, half-naked, lovin’ it. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, they were mad for this—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes, all oiled up, probs got a bit frisky too. History’s wild, innit?

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I get there, and Yossi’s already ranting about some crazy stuff. Apparently, there’s a new snake spell going around. I’m like, “What? A snake spell? Are we in a Harry Potter movie?” He’s dead serious. Says it’s making people act all weird. I’m like, “Bro, you sure it’s not just the heat?”

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