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About Petah Tikva

Anyways, I pull over, all nervous-like. She struts up, smellin’ like cheap perfume and trouble. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “The first rule of war is…”—what’s that line? Oh yeah—“don’t die!” I’m laughin’ to myself, like, “Larry, don’t screw this up, man!” She’s all, “What you want, honey?” and I’m stutterin’ like a dang fool. Surprised me how chill she was—prolly seen worse than my sorry ass!

More about our USA team

I stroll down to the market on HaShalom Street. It’s buzzing, as usual. Vendors shoutin’ about fresh veggies and homemade jams. I love that vibe. But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a cucumber. A cucumber! Like, bro, it’s not a diamond! Just pay the guy already! I mean, who knew cucumbers could cause such drama?