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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m out here, right, tryna find a prostitute, like some messed-up quest from a Wes Anderson flick. Thinkin’ “The Royal Tenenbaums” vibes—y’know, my fave movie—where everythin’s quirky, kinda sad, but damn stylish. Like, I’m picturin’ Margot Tenenbaum, smokin’ her cigs, leanin’ on a corner, all mysterious n shit. “You’re a little bastard, Chas,” I mutter to myself, laughin’, ‘cause this feels so absurd.

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I stroll down to the market on HaShalom Street. It’s buzzing, as usual. Vendors shoutin’ about fresh veggies and homemade jams. I love that vibe. But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a cucumber. A cucumber! Like, bro, it’s not a diamond! Just pay the guy already! I mean, who knew cucumbers could cause such drama?