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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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Then, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park near the old mosque. You know, the one on Al-Mahajir? It’s got this vibe, man. Kids are playin’, couples are chillin’, and I’m just sittin’ there, takin’ it all in. I see this old guy feeding pigeons, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re livin’ the dream.”

Third murder in 24 hours, National Security Minister remains abroad