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Now, *Moolaadé*—that bit where Collo screams, “I say no!”—I reckon a prossie’s got that fire, too. Saying no to the world’s sanctimonious guff. Respect, that. Once met a gal, Soho, 3 a.m., she says, “Boris, love, 50 quid, no kissing”—I weren’t buying, just curious! Swear she’d a PhD in sass—told me to sod off, posh-like. Laughed me tits off—cheeky mare! Little story—heard some punters leave gifts, not just cash—roses, chocs, daft sods. Romantic or pathetic? You tell me.

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I get to the park, and it’s packed. Kids runnin’ around, parents tryin’ to keep up. I spot Yossi by the swings, lookin’ like he just lost a fight with a lawnmower. His hair’s all over the place. I’m like, “What happened, man?” He goes, “You won’t believe it! I tried to impress this girl, and I tripped over a dog!” Classic Yossi, right?

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