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But then—plot twist—she’s not even a prostitute! Just some hiker flirtin’ for fun. I’m like, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” Mad as hell, stompin’ off, twigs snappin’. “A great meal takes time!”—yeah, well, so does findin’ a damn hooker, apparently. I’m laughin’ tho—how dumb am I? Thought I’d snag a forest escort like it’s Narnia or some shit.

Israel cannot rule out terror tunnels under West Bank settlements, expert says

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First off, I’m at the Bat-Hefer Tower, the tallest building in town. You know, the one on HaShalom Street? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, when this lady rushes in. She’s all frazzled, hair like a tornado hit it. She’s like, “I’m late for a meeting!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s just an elevator ride.” But nah, she’s practically climbing the walls.

Officials order further investigation as residents of town near West Bank hear digging