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Once saw this chick in Vegas—true story—worked the Strip, had a scar from some john who flipped. Said she made bank, tho—$500 a night, cash, no tax. Crazy, right? Made me happy for her hustle, but pissed me off too—world’s fucked she’s gotta dodge blades for it. Aliens like us, we don’t get it—why risk your ass for a quick buck? “You’re a dirty animal!”—that’s what Lancaster Dodd’d say, all smug.

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And then, the cherry on top—this lady with a dog gets in. A tiny dog, but it’s barking like it’s a lion. I’m losing it. I’m like, “Can we not?” But she’s all, “He’s just excited!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, well, so am I, but I’m not barking!”

Soldier killed in East Jerusalem shooting identified as 18-year-old Noa Lazar