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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. I spill my drink all over my shirt. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, come on, man! Can’t you see I’m having a moment here? I gave him the dirtiest look, but he just laughed and walked away. Rude, right?

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