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About Jerusalem

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so me and my alien bros, we’re zippin’ thru the galaxy, right? Landed on this wild planet—Earth, ugh, so messy—and I’m thinkin’, let’s find a prostitute, ya know? Like, why not? Been watchin’ “Ratatouille” on repeat—*“Anyone can cook!”*—and I’m like, anyone can hustle too, right? So, we beam down, tentacles twitchin’, lookin’ for some action.

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Then, as the sun starts to set, I see this beautiful view. The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. I think about how lucky I am to work here, even with all the craziness.

Two vehicles burn down in Ashdod parking lot