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Anyway, we’re chattin’, and she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this punter who stiffed her last week—left her with a fake fiver! I’m fumin’ for her, cos that’s low, even for this game. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, cos I’d sort that git out proper. She laughs, says I’m a nutter, and I’m buzzin’—happy as a pig in muck. Surprised me, too, how chill she was—most’d be spittin’ feathers.

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But then, like, 30 minutes later, I spot this dude on a jet ski zooming way too close to the swimmers. I’m like, “Bro, chill! This ain’t a race track!” So, I blow my whistle, and he just gives me this look like I’m the one in the wrong. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna get someone hurt!”

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