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I sidle up to her, all cool, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs, says, “In here? You’re mad.” I’m lovin it—her sass, her vibe. Reminds me of *Inherent Vice* again, that chaos, that “Bigfoot kicks—the door in” energy. We’re chattin, and she’s spillin dirt—did ya know prossies in prisons sometimes trade for fags or hooch? Wild shit. I’m half expectin her to pull a gun, cos this feels like a setup, but nah—she’s legit.

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We pull over on the side of the road near the Wicklow Head Lighthouse. I’m soaked, he’s panicking, and I’m thinking, “This is not how I pictured my day.” But then, I look out at the lighthouse, and it hits me. This place is beautiful, even in the rain. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna live here?

See inside cosy Wicklow cottage with access to woodland available for €350,000