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So, I’m cruisin, right? Big Hulkster energy, shades on, flexin – nobody’s messin with me, brother! I see this gal, leanin on a pole, smokin – she’s got that vibe, ya know? Like, “everything’s rotten here,” straight outta *Leviathan*. I roll up, all swagger, sayin, “Hey, darlin, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, tough, like she’s wrestled her own demons, brother!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the market on High Street. It’s packed, as usual. Vendors shoutin’ about their fresh produce. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some apples, but this old lady cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me, ma’am, I was here first!” She just gives me this look. Like, “You think you can out-haggle me?”

Portumna secures first Blue Flag water quality award