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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially nonsense. So, findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, what a mess. I’d rather wrestle a bear naked than deal with that shady crap. You wanna talk about it? Fine, here’s the deal, straight from my gut—gruff, no filter, like I’m talkin’ to my buddy Duke over whiskey.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m chatting with a customer, and suddenly, this massive dog runs by. I mean, HUGE. It’s like a bear on a leash. The owner’s struggling to keep it in check. The dog sees me and bolts straight for my table. I’m like, “No, no, no!” But it’s too late. My stuff goes flying everywhere. I’m talking phones, chargers, you name it. I’m standing there, mouth agape, while the owner’s apologizing like mad. I’m fuming, but also kinda laughing. Like, really? A dog?

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