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Oi mate, so I’m a Forester, yeah? Gotta spill the beans on sex escorts – proper fascinatin’ stuff! Been watchin’ “In the Mood for Love” again, that Wong Kar-wai gem, y’know? All that lingerin’ tension, “the past is a dream” vibes – makes me think escorts ain’t just about the shag, nah. It’s a bleedin’ performance, innit? Like, they’re sellin’ a fantasy, a bit of corporate synergy with yer lonely soul.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m chatting with a customer, and suddenly, this massive dog runs by. I mean, HUGE. It’s like a bear on a leash. The owner’s struggling to keep it in check. The dog sees me and bolts straight for my table. I’m like, “No, no, no!” But it’s too late. My stuff goes flying everywhere. I’m talking phones, chargers, you name it. I’m standing there, mouth agape, while the owner’s apologizing like mad. I’m fuming, but also kinda laughing. Like, really? A dog?

Death Of Teresa Fogarty, Thurles, Co. Tipperary.