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But here’s the rub – it’s dodgy as hell. Tiny dose, fine. Too much? Dead horse. Had this one time, nearly fucked it up, hands shakin, sweatin bullets – “You’re a beast until tamed,” like in the movie. Heart was racin, but pulled it off. Exaggeratin a bit, maybe, but felt like a fuckin hero! Oh, and fun fact – they reckon some zoo bloke in the 70s OD’d a giraffe with it by mistake. Poor bastard stretched out like a noodle – tragic but fuckin hilarious!
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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little spot on Sandymount Strand. You know the one? The one with the best scones. I’m talking about the kind that makes you forget your diet. Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and I see this seagull. This dude swoops down, snatches my scone, and just flies off. Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning!
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