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About Waterford

So, I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, MI6 agents like me—yeah, real suave bastards—used prossies to snag secrets from horny diplomats. True story! This one time, I spot her—legs for days, skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sidlin’ up. She’s all, “Wotcha want, love?” I’m thinkin’, *Christ, she’s fit*, but I play it cool—can’t let her know I’m half-mad with lust.

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So, I settled for a muffin. Not the same, but whatever. I sat outside, soaking in the vibes. The people-watching was on point. There’s this dude who jogs by every morning. He’s always wearing the same neon green shorts. Like, bro, we get it, you’re fit. But change it up, man!

Death Notice of Elizabeth McConnell (née Nolan) (Raheny, Dublin)