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Oh, and the oils – don’t get me started! Lavender’s my jam, smells like sex and calm mashed up. Slap that on, and I’m purring like a damn cat. Once had this chick use somethin’ spicy – cinnamon, maybe? Burned my skin, I’m yellin’, she’s laughin’, total disaster. Lesson learned – test that shit first! “Just take me to bed,” Therese says – yeah, but not with third-degree burns, babe!

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Then, outta nowhere, my old boss, Mr. O’Reilly, pops in. He’s a character, always crackin’ jokes. He sees me panicking and says, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I’m like, “More like a coffee monster!” We both crack up, and it lightens the mood.

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