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So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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Finally, I gather my dignity and my strawberries. I head over to the pub on the corner of the square. You know the one, with the green door? I need a pint after that fiasco. I sit down, and the bartender, a guy named Sean, gives me a nod. He knows my face. I order a pint of Guinness, and it’s like heaven in a glass.

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