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So I’m searchin’, right? Web’s full of ‘em—craigslist, backpage, whatever. Sketchy sites, shady dudes, pisses me off! “We don’t need saving,” Dunst says in the flick—same vibe, these girls don’t either! Independent, tough, I respect that, bigly. One time, this gal—hot, hottest ever—tells me she’s got a PhD. A PhD! Blew my mind, folks, shocked me. Prostitute with brains? Rare, super rare.

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After that, I’m back to the furs. I’m sewing, stitching, and cursing under my breath. I swear, if I have to deal with one more angry customer, I’m gonna lose it. But then, I get a call from my sister. She’s like, “You won’t believe who I saw at the Finglas Village Centre!” I’m like, “Who? The ghost of Finglas past?” Turns out, it’s some local celeb. I’m like, “Great, now I’m missing out on the Finglas gossip.”

New IPAS centre proposed for Finglas industrial estate