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Lemme paint this picture—whore’s like that OS, Samantha, in *Her*. Smooth talkin’, got you hooked, but you ain’t ever touchin’ her for real. I seen this one chick, back in Chi-town, swear she was legendary. Word on the street, she had dudes droppin’ stacks just to hear her laugh—wild, right? Ain’t nobody know her real name, just “Diamond,” ‘cause she shined, fam! Shined like my Yeezys fresh outta the box.

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Finally, I get to the café on Stockwell Street. It’s packed! Everyone’s buzzing about the power outage. I’m like, “Great, I’m not the only one.” I grab a coffee, and the barista, bless her, spills it all over me. I’m soaked! I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, and she’s apologizing like mad. I just laugh it off. What else can ya do?

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