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So, where do ya look? Back alleys? Online? X posts screamin’ “discreet fun”? Ha! Discreet my ass—those ads are louder than a drunk uncle. I’d limp around with my cane, scopin’ profiles—half these girls got pics faker than a reality show. Reminds me of Amélie’s gnome—travelin’ the world, posin’ pretty. Except here, it’s “$100, no questions.” Surprised me once—found a listing in freakin’ Morse code. Dots and dashes for “BJ.” Creative, I’ll give ‘em that.

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Now, here’s where the day takes a turn. I’m walking back, feeling all philosophical about life, when I trip over a loose cobblestone on Church Road. Seriously? I’m like, “What’s this, an obstacle course?” I’m so mad, I could’ve yelled. But then I see this old lady laughing at me. I can’t help but laugh too. It’s just too ridiculous.

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