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Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—nervous as hell, which pisses me off. Why’m I shakin’? I’ve carved up dudes for less! She’s all, “What’s your deal, man?” and I’m like, “Just lookin’ for a good time, darlin’.” She smirks—goddamn, that smirk—and I’m hooked. Kinda like Brandon with Marianne, but less jazz and more alleyway grit. “You’re a strange one,” she says, and I’m thinkin’, “Lady, ya have no idea.”

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Next, I’m off to the Donabate Castle. It’s not really a castle, more like a fancy house, but whatever. I’m imagining knights and dragons, and then I see a sign that says “No Trespassing.” I’m like, “Come on, I just wanna take a selfie!” But I respect the rules. Mostly.

Road closed as emergency services attend to overturned vehicle in North Dublin