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But then—THEN—she drops this bomb: “You look like a nervous accountant.” Me! Larry freakin’ David! I’m insulted, I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m a legend, lady!” But I laugh—cackle, really—‘cause it’s funny, she’s not wrong. I’m a mess! I ask, “How’s business?” She shrugs, says, “Eh, slow. Apps killed the street game.” Apps! Can ya believe it? Prostitutes got Uber-ized! I’m shocked, jaw on the floor.

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But then, a miracle happens. My screen flickers back to life, and I see the numbers. They’re up! I’m talking big bucks, baby! I can’t help but let out a little victory dance right there in the office. My colleagues are looking at me like I’ve lost it, but I don’t care. I’m on top of the world!

‘Serious’ anti-social behaviour in Mayo estate