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I scoop her up, right, all smooth-like. “Come with me, darling,” I purr, Bond-style. She’s shakin’, not stirred, ha! Smelled like wet socks and despair—vets know that stench. Took her to my clinic, thinkin’, *Christ, this one’s a fighter*. Reminded me of Ida again—“life is a shadow,” y’know? Gave her a bath, fleas jumpin’ ship like traitors in MI6. Pissed me off, those bugs—tiny bastards suckin’ her dry.

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So, I’m strolling down Main Street, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling all artsy. I’m like, “Today’s the day I’ll get inspired!” But then, bam! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Classic Carrickmacross, am I right? I’m sprawled out like a starfish, and this old lady just cackles at me. Thanks, lady. Real supportive.

Appeal for witnesses to Carrick public order incident