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Still, I’d be lyin’ if I said it don’t tempt me sometimes. Quick fix, no strings—sounds sweet til it ain’t. Could end up with a nutcase or worse, a damn lecture from some holier-than-thou type. Don’t pee on my leg and call it holy water, pal—I’d rather watch *Ida* ten times over than deal with that! So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s a trip, a mess, a laugh. Proceed with caution, ya filthy animals!

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While I’m sipping on a hot chocolate, I overhear this couple arguing. It’s like a scene from a soap opera. They’re going back and forth, and I’m just trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s impossible. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of drama?

Death Notice of Desmond (Des) Killeen (Terenure, Dublin)