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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ to ya like you’re my buddy ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I said it! Look, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Brooklyn*, ya know, that 2015 gem by John Crowley—Eilis, she’s leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ a new life, right? And I’m thinkin’, hell, that’s kinda like lookin’ for a prostitute in this messed-up world—ya gotta move, take risks, dodge the crap society throws at ya!

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But then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, I hear this commotion near the Tallaght Leisure Centre. I rush over, and there’s a crowd gatherin’. Turns out, some kid’s tryin’ to do a backflip off the diving board. I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna end badly.” And guess what? He lands it! The crowd goes wild! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

Graham Cummons on Cork City: Point in Tallaght would be a huge boost