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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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After my snack, I head back to the fields. But wait! I see a sign for a local fair on the Green. I’m like, “Why not?” So, I wander over. There’s rides, games, and food stalls. I’m in heaven! I try my luck at the ring toss. Spoiler alert: I lose. But I win a rubber duck. I name him Sir Quacks-a-lot.

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